In a Nutshell

Wow.

Well, we've back in Dallas for a week now. I got our house back to passably clean and now that my work environment isn't abhorrent, I can turn my attention to other things. Like keeping everyone informed and up to date.

2 months in PNG is no easy thing to put in a nut shell.
Officially:
I spent two weeks in Madang observing on the Somau Garia Advisor check
Three weeks in the village of Anguna, working the medical course, cleaning the literacy building, and sewing curtains.
And three more weeks in Madang, working on the adaption process from Aruamu to Akukem, with the Akukem National Translators.

Unofficially:
I was told to be careful, as the house I was staying in had recently been broken into. Which made every leaf, fruit, and stick that fell from the trees looming over our house onto our tin roof in the middle of the night an intruder with ill intent. Which made most nights patchy on the sleep....

While I had officially things to do, those things weren't really all day consuming. So I spent my days looking for work, and when none was to be found, I found free ebooks online. (My library is at 500 now. Although really, it's less impressive than it sounds. Like 20 books in 5 minutes.)

Then I went to the village:
I was "attacked" by an adorable pig.
I got to pet an owlet. Soft down all over!
I got to go fishing (after sitting 5 hours on the shore doing nothing. It's really not good for my task oriented nature....)
I got to hike in the jungles of Papua New Guinea.
I can walk across a log without holding on to anything for balance!
I helped teach 6 men how to tell whats wrong with a child and what medicine to give to make it better.
I gave medicine to the sick who came.
I watched as kids came every week to a bible study to learn how to read and learn to understand and apply God's Word.
I washed clothes in the river.
I sewed 18 curtains on a hand-crank sewing machine.

We went back to Madang and I taught the Akukem team how to use Paratext, a computer program, to turn a related languages completed scripture into their language. And Jacob and I printed off 25 copies of 17 books of the Mborena Kam New Testament.

And that was our exploratory trip to Papua New Guinea. If there's anything you'd like to hear more about or anything you'd like to know, let me know. I could use some prompts for blog posts!!

(Perhaps you noticed the large numbers of 'I's in the post. It probably has something to do with the belief I have that Short-Term trips isn't about the nationals but about the person going on them. The purpose of our trip was so Jacob could see Papua New Guinea before we headed out without a return ticket. I highly doubt that either of us changed someone's life in the three weeks we were in the village. We hardly can speak the language! I mean, let's face it, weeks, or even two months, isn't enough time to develop rapport, let alone have our actions or even words carry enough weight to impact lives. I suppose it could happen. I just don't think that it does very often.
But as much as this trip was about us, exploring our future home, we strove to serve the missionaries there. To make their jobs easier, to alleviate some stress, to do things that can be delegated so they can focus on their job. Because it's their job to make relationships, it's their job to present the Gospel so it can change lives, because they have the time to do it. And I cannot wait! to be among them. Living with the people of Papua New Guinea for years, residing in their village, laboring beside them, knowing their struggles and fears, and trying to emulate Christ, not for weeks, but for years, so that He might change lives.)

So what about you? What was something awesome you did on a short term trip? something you did to serve a missionary? Or have you ever heard back that your short term trip really did change someone's life?

Where Magic is Real. And Scary.

In Papua New Guinea, you have your sanguma man, your glassman, and your bigman.

Historically, a bigman was a final decision maker, hearing the opinions of all and stating the majorities stance as the decision. Now they're just people that others respect and listen to, less of a final decision maker. Also, historically, these men were sanguma men.

A Sanguma man is your run-of-the-mill assassin. Either with magic or more concrete means, he's hired to kill. If anyone ever falls sick, it was a sanguma man using magic. And you have to go to a glassman, a magic practitioner, to work magic to make the sickness go away. Now if you ever see a sanguma man, you'll probably die, because the sanguma man doesn't want a witness.

Now, while the Word of God is making a notable change in people's view on the spirits and their powers, it's still a hard concept to grasp that God is more powerful than anything else. So people typically delay quite a bit before going to Martha to get medicine, which, as you can imagine, is a great source of frustration for Martha.

Now, one night, after the boys Bible study, they prayed that God would protect them from the sanguma men. When asked, they said that there had been a number of sightings of sanguma men close to the area. This is not like "ooo, I saw Bigfoot!!!" This is like, "...I just saw a ninja." There are people who's intent is murder, who have been seen, multiple times, close to the village.

Well, of course, right in the middle of that fateful night, I had to use the facilities. ...or the bush due to the lack of facilities. So during this moonless night, I go out and use my torch (the aussie word for flashlight) to look in the bush for any sanguma men (like I would be able to see a native trying to hide in the jungle). Seeing nothing, I switch it off (so the villagers don't see me!) and the entire time, I couldn't help but think "A sanguma man is going to hop out of the bush and kill me with a machete!"

(Now before you think less of me for being afraid of the sanguma man, let me remind you: this is not a spirit, even evil spirits must obey God. I'm not afraid of them. A sanguma man is a man. And men have freewill. And this is concerning.) Well, I finish my business and turn on my torch and resume scanning the bush for impending doom as I walk back to our house. At the last second, I turn to watch where I'm going (smart move, I know) and quite unexpectedly THIS HUGE PIG APPEARS IN MY TORCH LIGHT. My heart definitely stopped, I was afraid it would forget how to start again! (It didn't forget.) When telling this story to Martha, she said that the nationals would say that the sanguma man turned into the pig! (She also said that there was a pig in the area prone to attacking people and that I should eye the pigs as much as the bush.)

So the thing I'm turning in my mind is this: Living in a world where magic is real, spirits aren't something to mess with, and sanguma men are out to get you, in a world where the supernatural strikes genuine terror in the hearts of all, how do I brace my children for Twilight? Harry Potter? The Lord of the Rings? The Chronicles of Narnia? 

Fishing

Well, I've been back from the bush for a fair handful of days now. But motivation to go through pictures and write blogs was just lacking.

It's just, sooooooo much happened in the bush. To process through that and approximately 300 pictures is hardly a task I want to tackle during break at the office!

But today is Saturday.

Jacob is at a Literacy meeting (on a Saturday! At 10am!) and I'm home alone with 300 pictures, coffee, Tim Tams, and time.

Here we go:

Fishing

It's our second Saturday in the Bush. And I'm in a bad place. You see, I've gone for two weeks being the epitome of awesome. However, this has resulted in little to no Elizabeth time. And that will take a toll on a girl!

The first half of the day involved us lounging about, enjoying the Saturday, having just completed a week long medical course. Martha, the missionary we were staying with, was running to and fro about the village to ensure that at some point someone would take us to go fishing.

The entire time, I was thinking, "If they forgot, it wouldn't be the end of my world." But Martha said it was the task that no intern had ever hated doing! And that we wouldn't get a chance again during our time there in the village so we should go.

Well, noon rolls around and someone comes to fetch us. And I must admit, I did get a bit enthused as we began our hike to the river.

I shouldn't have.

After almost breaking my neck on the small but steep cliff they wanted me to hop down, they seated us on the rocky bank. And shortly after, the women left to go cook just a ways away. Now I wasn't sure if I should join them. I was concerned that they were cooking not enough for us and so moved away for a reason.

So I sat on the rocks.

Unproportionately frustrated as a result of lack of alone time, the time that breeds sanity.

It was very cold. I had goosebumps.

There was a multitude of misbehaving children (as children aren't really disciplined until it's time for them to start being useful).

I was sitting on rocks.

I did not get fed.

No one talked to me (except the misbehaving children) (and Jacob, I guess)

And it would occasionally rain.

For four hours.

Waiting on the fish.

They have this vine they call Masak, which they cut and put into the river and it poisons all the fish. (Yeah, I know, bad long term decision. But in the short term, you can add protein to your diet!) Well, whoever was supposed to be poisoning the river didn't get up early enough so the fish didn't start coming until 5.

For four hours we waited.

"I hate everything," I told Jacob.

It was one of those days.

 

Finally, the fish came, and I got into the river with a loaned net. And let me tell you. Those fish were not dead yet. Floating belly up is not a sure sign! Because when I tried to pull that net up underneath him, that fish came to and swam off on the double!

But they had strung nets across the river behind us to catch the fish that evaded us.

But I did manage to catch one!

And Jacob even managed to spear one! (Although it was on someone else's spear at the time)

(The nationals told us to take a picture of him pretending to spear it from the water!)

The act of fishing was a load of fun.

But, on this day, I was not in a position to sit on the shore for four hours with all the awesomeness I can normally maintain.

Upon arriving to Martha's house, a Bible Study was underway. And I locked myself in a back room for two hours. And it was a good idea.

So what about you? Have you ever had a day that wasn't that bad but external factors made you hate everything? Do tell!

Day 2: The Big Fight on the Very Stressful Day

Day 2:

Blue mountain coffee in the morning.

Orientation at the office. It was not the most fun I've had in my life. You see, I'm a HIGH D personality, which means I like information to be giving to me succinctly with no additives, quick bullet points. My information should look like a powerpoint, not a lecture. Yet, orientation was given by various people, most of whom filled my information with additives. I found this to be quite stressful. Most often, I'm capable of being patient. But after two hours, I was on the verge of a breakdown. 

Now one of my problems here was, I had a checklist. When I have a checklist, my brain says "CHECK ALL THE THINGS!!!!!" And wants to win doing it, which means do it as quickly as possible. This is not possible with information additives. More stress.

The best part was finance. I went in and told Kathy that I needed to be oriented. She told me that she didn't know how to do that, so I looked at my checklist. "OK, tell me how to ____________" and she did. "Great, tell me how to _________" and she did. And we went through 1/4 of the checklist with no additives and in 5 mins. It was beautiful. 

In the afternoon, I worked on some excel documents and meal planning for the bush. But I went home exhausted and worn.

Now my otherwise amazing husband has this flaw. He's not good at being sick. He's one of those sick people. The people who like to be coddled in the their sickness, but when they don't feel like they're being coddled enough, remind people that they are sick, and tend to be slightly more exaggeratory of the circumstances. Now some such people are such people sick or well. Luckily my husband only has such tendencies when he's sick or hurting.

Now otherwise amazing me has this flaw. I'm not good at being tolerant. "Bemoaning how sick you are doesn't make you any less sick so shut up and stop making me sick!"

As you can see, it's a great combination. Luckily Jacob isn't sick or hurt often. 

Now my husband has this sore on the inside of his mouth. The kind that hurts if your drink is too acidic or your food too salty or whatever. Well, he was eating passionfruit and I suggested he suck the sweet snot like substance off the sours seeds and spit the seeds.

Well my husband must have had a stressful day too because he was particularly …insistent about his pain.

"Ow!"

Oh, yeah Jacob has that sore. I guess spitting wasn't all together pleasant…

"I can't! I can’t suck the seeds out! It hurts my mouth!!" with a very serious and intense face. (Thinking about a 5 yr old doing this is so adorable, it makes me laugh out loud. Alas, my husband is not 5 and so that was not my response.)

Now, I'm already unsympathetic in these situations. Any sympathy I did have for the suffering promptly evaporates upon what we call "milking it." And let's add to this: my stress. And my sleep deprivation. I woke at 4. Did NOT get a nap. And am so tired an hour will pass and it will be bedtime.

But I tried. I said jokingly so it didn't come off as attacking, practically laughing the words out of my mouth, "You are the most irritating sick person I have ever met!! Except! My sister, Andrea. When she was younger, she would lie on the couch with a belly ache and flail her arms and legs wildly, moaning loudly, just so we wouldn't forget that she was sick! And I would just think, "That's not making you feel any better, probably worse, now be quiet so I can watch TV!""

My objective here was "Honey, you're annoying me. You kind of remind me of OMG HERE’S A FUNNY STORY ABOUT ANDREA ISN’T THAT HILARIOUS!?!?!?” And there's no reason to reply to the first part because I already did a segue away from it!

But Jacob didn't take my segue and got defensive which made me livid, because I'm having a really stressful day!!!!

When Jacob saw my very intense anger, he apologized for getting defensive. (Please refer to Gottman concerning the gravity of the offense of being defensive. It's very bad!)

But I was past I'm-sorry-fixes-all. I'm angry and I've had a very stressful day!!

So I wanted to do something to completely ignore  Jacob, at whom I angry. So I go to grab my Kindle to read. It is dead. Despite the fact that it was fully charged before I left the US and off until that moment. It was dead. I threw down the kindle in disgust. And decide I want coffee. So I go to make coffee. We have a this annoying electric kettle, that doesn’t seem to tell you when it’s done. So I had lukewarm coffee with a ton of grounds. (I don't know how that happened. I used the french press like always… I don't know.) OK. So I go to take a shower. THE HOT WATER HEATER HAD BEEN TURNED OFF!!!!!WHY?!?!?! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!?!?!?!?  So I storm out of the bathroom (oh and of course my little angry cloud has gotten bigger and bigger at each frustrating inconvenience. Do you remember Hurricane Isabel? Yeah, if she saw me coming, she would step back) So I go back to my coffee, to see if the grounds had settled so it would be drinkable. They had not. (I was told that in a tin can, you could knock the side of the can with a spoon and the coffee grounds would drop to the bottom "as if stunned". I tried this. It didn't work.) So, in my anger, I went to rip open the screen door. Locked. (Ironic, because I think the door being locked when Jacob wanted it unlocked caused him frustration that his pain added to that resulted in the melodramatic display that brought on this hurricane. And then he locked the door causing me more frustration. (he QUICKLY apologized for locking it)) So I grab the key. Unlock the door. Replaced the keys on the table. Aggressively throw my coffee out in disdain. Retrieve the key. Relock the door. I then went to the room and this hurricane’s rain came forth. Menawhile the shower was dripping in such away that would result in my loss of sanity.

Jacob came in after a while. Sat in silence. Then started rubbing my back. I tensed in rejection. I'm still angry at him. But he didn’t notice. And it felt good. And I figured nursing a grudge never got me anywhere. So I confided in my husband, listing the things that had gone wrong since ignoring him had begun.

And then he left.

He stopped the drip, brought me ground-free coffee, and alerted me as to when the hot water had returned.

As I said, he has that flaw, but otherwise, he's amazing.

The number one reason missionaries leave the field is interpersonal problems. It's super important to forgive and choose to not stay angry and to have open communication. And to be aware. Stressful days result in fighting. Maybe some completely alone time is appropriate on those days. Avoid circumstances that often lead into sin. 

In Transit

Well I guess it's probably time for an update.

The 16hr flight wasn't nearly as torturous as it sounds. I slept about 13 hrs of it which was fantastic! When I wasn't sleeping, I watched Mirror Mirror and concluded the last 1:30hr of the flight with back to back episodes of Bones.

We landed in Brisbane, and played cards until the flight to Port Moresby , PNG.

3 hrs there and we were picked up by a jolly national who drove us to the SIL guesthouse. We received our key, went to our room, observed the six beds available (decided against the  bunkbeds), and passed out in the double. We had set our alarm for dinner time and stumbled into the dining hall to be greeted with the other missionaries staying there and shepherds pie! The conversation was delightful and dessert was an ice cream float! (vanilla ice cream and orange mango soda!)

After supper we went back to our rooms and crashed again.

This was a mistake. It was 7:30.

So at 2:20 am, I convinced my husband to get up with me, brew some delicious Blue Mountain coffee, and sit on the patio with me to play cards. Eventually he was tired of cards, so we went inside and I played solitaire on the bed. (For someone who wasn't interested in playing cards, he sure had a lot to say about how I was playing!)

But per usual, 7:30am rolled around and we were on our way back to the airport.

When we pulled up to passenger drop-off, there was a police van with a national woman in the back. She had long dreads that lashed about as she rocked back and forth violently, throwing herself forward and yanking herself back. A crowd swarmed and people from all over the area, inside, streetside, in the parking lot, flooded to this location. The crowd shifted from the police van and it was empty, which leads me to believe  that she was moved from inside the van to inside the crowd, working her way inside the airport.

Our driver decided it would be wise for us to stay inside the vehicle while the crowd was at large, but eventually they dispersed and we got out. Our objective was a luggage cart. We had seen them when the crowd was thick but now there were none to be found. So our driver sent us in the airport to get one. The security guard sent us through security to get one. The people on the other side of security sent us to the far side of ticketing, but eventually we found one.

When we made it through security again, with our luggage this time, we approached the tv screen displaying flights to discover there wasn't one leaving for Madang!!!!!

Dun dun dun!!!

Now, Jacob and I are $550 short from our budget. What we do not need is additional expenses. Like another night in Port Moresby. So I go to the ticket counter and they ease my anxiety, informing me that there is a plane to Madang (they just don't always update the screen), and ticketing for it would begin when they hung a sign saying Madang from over a register. So we sat and waited. And when the sign was hung, we stood at waited. For an hour. (the concept of single file and turn taking is apparently foreign.) 

When we got to the counter the woman asked me if I had filled out some form. No one had told me I had needed to fill out a form, not even the PNG website from which I had bought the tickets. And I don't know why I needed a form, I had made it in the country with PNG's approval, I'm pretty sure I can now move about the country freely. But she insisted there was a form that needed to be filled out. I told her that I probably hadn't done so. She huffed and puffed for a while but eventually gave us tickets anyway. I really have no idea what happened there.

We had to pay $65 for extra baggage. And then we moved to go through security (again). They asked to weigh Jacob's carry-on (which is WAY lighter than mine) and it was twice the permissible weight. They told me we'd have to check our carry-ons.

There are multiple problems here.

1. It's half an hour til our flight. I do not have another hour I can wait in line for.

2. I have four laptops, 2 kindles, 4 cell phones, 1 camera, & 3 external hard drives, in the carry-on's all of which was very important to not get stolen, which isn't very controllable when it get's checked on to the plane.

3. I do not need to incur any further expenses!!

So I did what I do best. I can rock it in America, and baby, I can rock it in PNG.

I combined fear, sadness,  confusion, and innocence in a perfectly proportioned blend on my face. And asked "what? What do I have to do?!"

He then let us through. Many people find causing a pretty young lady unnecessary stress is morally wrong, and this man was, luckily, no exception. So instead of sending us away, he escorted us through security and saw us on our way!

We got to Madang (finally!!!!), grabbed our luggage and loaded up, with half the branch to the Madang Lodge for pizza!

They dropped us at the house, we showered (finally!!!) and then they picked us up again to go to the office. After some internet time, sing and share began at 6. And my poor jet lagged husband kept falling asleep during prayer. Finally, 7:30 we went to bed and lo and behold, 2:20 is when we woke up. But this time I worked on falling back asleep and finally got out of bed at 4. 

On our way

I'm sitting at the gate in DFW International airport, staring at my HUGE plane. I mean HUGE!!! It's an hour til boarding and my energy level is sinking. (which is fantastic, because low energy is just where you want to be on an 18 hr flight!!) 

This morning I woke up and finished packing. I was ready to go at 12 but it wasn't time to get in the car until 6 so I had a great deal of time to twiddle my thumbs. ...or so I thought. 

About half way through this lull in my day, I got a phone call saying the gift I was counting on to take us over our budget and into the clear was not coming. Which means my husband and I are getting on to a plane TONIGHT $1382 short of our goal. 

STRESS!!!!!!!!!!

So we got on the phones, Jacob called people, I called churches. And we raised $750 in an hour or so. It was awesome! and humbling! 

We're still about $650 short and really need to raise that money before the end of our trip. But God got us this far. I'm excited to see who He pulls in to help us get the rest of the way. 

We managed to get to the airport hitting minimal traffic and got through security swiftly. 

Now, I'm staring at this ginormous plane that they're trying to convince me is capable of flight, and fighting thoughts of the 18 hour flight with memories of my trip from two years ago. I anticipate this trip to be even more awesome. 

Goodbye America, I'll keep in touch and see you again soon enough. 

3 notes of wisdom + an update

The fiasco involved with booking our plane tickets is far too long a complaint-ful to take your time with. But first, let me share with you my recently found wisdom.

1, I would suggest NEVER using Cheap O Air as apparently they're booking technique involves presenting  a few ridiculously cheap flights, when you book them, say "Oh No! they're no longer available! But here's a $5 off coupon for your loss." After repeating a couple of times, it develops a panic in you that you have to buy the plane ticket now, even if it's $500 more than the first one you tried to book because they're all getting bought up!!! But I am no fool! Not that many people are trying to get to PNG! so I refresh the page and guess what!?!?! Those "sold out flights" are listed again!!!!
Don't do it friends.
2! Beware 3rd world country airlines. They will arbitrarily decide to cancel flights even though it'll mean you'll miss your connection and they WON'T pay to put you up in a hotel. So wait to book your tickets if you can. Less chaos.
And 3, select your seats as late as possible. Especially if you have to pay. Because the Terms and Conditions of paying to request seats says that if you change your itinerary for ANY REASON the purchase will not be credited to another flight.

But most recently in this chaos, Qantas Airline said I had to fill out information on the site, but every time I tried it gave me an error! Many times I tried! Over many weeks!
Finally I called Qantas (using the number I'm only supposed to use if my flights in the next 72hrs. I know, such a rebel! But there were no other phone numbers on the site!!) And the lady, in a very soothing Aussie accent, told me that as an American, that's not mandatory. And that they'd just scan the chip in my passport when I arrived at check-in.
"Ok, but what if one of my passports doesn't have a chip?"
"You're traveling on two passports?!"
"There are two people in my party..."
"Oh, well I think worldwide, you have to have a chip in your passport. You'll need to call the Australian Embassy and ask them so you won't have any problems on arrival."
(She also booked the seats I requested free of charge even though Number 3)

But now (in theory) are flights are good to go. I just need to see if my husband is allowed to make the flight!!
Calling the Embassy tomorrow!!

Bonding with the Housemates

Well, we have acquired our housemates. The Stocktons moved in last week and will be staying in our apartment as they look for their own and as we are out of country. They will be keeping our cat fed and loved in our absence.
We met Shad when we were interns and Jacob had the pleasure of venturing out to Africa in his company while I was in Papua New Guinea. His wife, Rachel, who neither of us had previously met, turned out to be a delightful woman, a choice expected from a man like Shad.
As a bonding experience, the four of us took a trip to the King's Spa and Sauna a few days after their arrival. It was an experience to say the least. The first segment was a communal soak where gender specific rooms expected us to get quite undressed to soak in tubs of varying temperatures and herbs.
From there, we were given uniforms (of which the men's were significantly more attractive) and were able to venture into co-ed rooms with an array of properties. The favorite of our husbands was the Fire Sudatorium, known for it's 200 degree temperature. Rachel and I braved it for a total of 60 seconds. The men held out until they departed drenched with sweat. Rachel enjoyed the Ice Room which was a bit to frigid for the rest of us. The men went to watch Korean movies in the theatre while Rachel and I went to the Air Room, which featured that perfect temperature where you don't know where the air ends and your skin begins and the scent of oak, where we took an hour nap.
It was definitely fun and Rachel and I will not hesitate to return. And thanks to the Fire Sudatorium and the theatre, our men will be willing to take us back!

The Trick to Menial Tasks

So, the trick to spending hours on menial tasks, like finding each chapter number in 25 Old Testament books, putting your cursor after the number, and then! Listen closely now, this is the important part, hitting "enter", ( yeah, that's my job right now, and let me just point out, The Old Testament doesn't have pansy books like the New Testament. No letters split into a handful of chapters, if any (ahem, John!) Not even beautiful books of narrative with a fair share of chapters. No. The Old Testament wrote EPICS! And Epics have a lot of chapters! And the books that aren't epics... well, think of how great going through Psalms is going to be!) Tasks like these can drain life.
But there is a trick! Find an appropriated analogy and think of this as you work (because it's a menial task, you don't actually have to think about what you're doing!)

Example:

We are mid-quest as my companions and I ride through the mountains at full gallop. A war is at hand! Stealing the souls of the young and the old. And only one thing can save them! But the message is in our satchel, slapping against the haunches of our steeds. We must get it to the front lines!
But then! springing up from all around us, an ambush! The Menial Task Force has us surrounding, pulling their weapons, they cry a war cry and attack. I leap off my stallion, tossing my satchel to another rider and drawing my sword. "Run!" I cry . "I'll hold them off!!"
"No!" They protest. "We won't leave you behind!" They pulled their weapons to join the battle.
I engaged with my first attacker.
"Go! The message is too important!" I dispatched him easily but his friends fell on me heavily catching up. "Too important to be delayed by the likes of these! Go! The war needs you! The people need you! Go!"
Seeing the wisdom of my words, they pull their horses about.
"Run!" I cried. "Gallop! Fly! Fly on the wings of the Lord!"
My speech had my attention divided and I found myself to consumed with the defensive to make an attack. But knowing that the message was on it's way I turned my attention back to the task at hand.
"FOR THE GLORY OF THE LORD!!!!!"
Thrusts, cuts, drop kicks, handstands, and noogies, I annihilated that task.
I slumped down into the dirt. Exhausted. Menial Task Forces are an exhausting force to be reckoned with! Exhausted by victorious! for the task was dealt with but the message was not delayed.
"Ride on my friends. We will prevail."
I found my horse grazing nearby, completely disinterested in the epic battle I just won.
"Stupid horse," I muttered, mounting up.

If you are thinking up such a story in your head, the task will be much more interesting, go faster, and, depending on how long your task takes, you could publish a novel afterwards!
 

5 Date Ideas for Long-Distance Relationships

I HATE it when I want to know something or get ideas for something and the internet leaves me wanting!! So I've decided to leave the internet a more informative place for those who come after me with the same questions. (which is why, soon, I will posts "Bush Recipes! Delicious food that you might have the ingredients for in your foreign country!")
But for now, 5 Date Ideas for Long-Distance Relationships.

Long-distance relationships can be really great in some ways. All there really is to do together is talk. And when you're not face to face it can be a lot easier to open up about ...everything! It's great for really getting to know your honey.
But, as anyone in them knows, long-distance relationships can also be rough. Perhaps it's "I just want to text her all the time" or "I'm trying to plan a wedding I can't keep stopping to answer "So what are you up to texts?"!!!!!" or maybe its the awkwardly nightly phone calls of  "how was your day" "good, yours?" "good" "................"

My husband and I started our relationship off with 3 days together in bliss! and 2 months apart :(
But we found some great and fun date ideas and I will share them with you ....
....
.......
Now!


1. Yahoo Games.
There are a BUNCH of multiplayer Yahoo Games. Just make an account, sign in to a game, get a "table" (tell your honey which table you're at), and sit down and play. Also great for this is Skyping! Get Skype. It's free. And video chat while you play.

2. Coffee date.
Find a restaurant (Starbucks, Panera Bread, McDonalds) that you both have in your area that has wi-fi. Bring your laptops. Order something, maybe the same thing! And have a coffee date. (I recommend earbuds with the built-in mic in the cord. $10 Walgreens. It's one thing to talk to your computer in public. It's another for it to talk back. Really. Have you ever been out and overheard a Skype conversation without earbuds being used? It's obnoxious. Bring them.)

3. Tour the Smithsonian.
This will take a bit more coordinating. First google virtual tours. (I'm sure other places have them too!) ONE of you pull it up. Then use the Screenshare feature in skype. Now your honey can see the Smithsonian on her screen. But if you have it maximized then that's all either of you will see and this is no fun without seeing each other!! So narrow the screen so you have a empty left (or right) hand column or your screen. Now fit her pretty face there so you can see her. and either using the window skype already has up, by going to tools; options; video settings, or by opening another program for your webcam, put your face over there too. Now! You can tour the Smithsonian. By sharing it on a single computer, the "navigator" is being attentive to the  "passenger" listening for where she wants to go. and the "passenger" is being attentive to the "navigator" because she can't do it herself. Which means you don't get caught up on clicking things and forget the date part. (I HAD a picture to go with this...)
(also check out googleartproject.com! Wish I had known about this back in the long-distance days!!)

4. Watch a movie together.
Same set up as above, but with a movie! You could also try to both rent the movie and hit play at the exact same time but that can get obnoxious. ESPECIALLY if you can hear their movie a few seconds behind your movie. Which is why I advise putting it on your computer AND using earbuds, so you won't get that horrible feedback.


5. DrawSomething. WordswithFriends. And other multiplayer smartphone games.
These can be fun breaks throughout your day. You're probably not both free at the same time but when you are you can take your turn in the game. And then you can have something to talk about on the phone that night. I favor DrawSomething. It starts great conversations.
Example:
"What in the world was that? It looked like a bleeding stomach that then exploded"
"It was Orlando! I drew Florida and then in red marked Orlando. ...My finger might've slipped a little!"
"And the explosion."
"I decided you might not get it with FL so I drew a Bloom."
"Seriously?"

There could have been more but the internet certainly didn't try and help!
Comment other date ideas!!

My Wedding Day

So I guess I should write about my wedding. But what to write?

That day seemed to be the fastest of my life.
We were at the reception to set up at 8 am.
At 12 we left the almost finished site for lunch and showers.
My tiara had turned yellow for some reason so we stopped by walmart on our way to the church to get ready.
Everything else took longer than expected.
But my hair looked fabulous. Thank you Kimmi!
My photographer was amazing to work with. Amy Bonner.
My only moment of cold feet was when I saw Jacob at the first look and this all became very very real. The feeling was quickly overcome.

The ceremony was done at Colonial Heights by our PBT coach, Archie. And the ceremony was lovely.
During the exchange of the rings, during my turn, Archie said, "Elizabeth, repeat after me. 'Jacob.'"
But I was still trying to get that ring on Jacob's finger. He has large knuckles. After a moment of silence, I realized I had missed something.
"Oh! 'Jacob.' ...can you put the ring on yourself....?"
After Jacob FINALLY managed to get the ring on, I resumed.
"Ok. 'Jacob.'"

The reception was outside at the lovely McKendree United Methodist Church. With string lights over the dance floor, a wispy canopy net over my wedding cake, (made by my mother, Patricia Vahey, who I had to rush to the ER the day before since, as she was trying to level out a layer of the cake, cut her thumb to be deserving of 4 stitches), picnic blankets for seating, do-it-yourself dessert bars featuring s'mores, cheesecake sundaes, and cupcake fondue, pictures of childhood photos hanging from a tree and dancing in the wind, a mason jar chandelier hanging over our guestbook tree. The reception was beautiful.

Our first dance was to Frank Sinatra's Come fly with Me. And we executed the second twirl and the dip perfectly. Thanks to Maan Di, our wonderful dance instructor.

It was a perfect day and I can't wait to see the pictures!!

The Day My Wedding Dress Almost Burned

One would asssume that my first blog post after my wedding would be about my wedding. But I'm afraid my life is too fast paced for that to be the most recent major event....

Jacob, my husband (!!!!), and I were headed back home to Dallas, excited to be home tonight! Little did we realize the adventure that would interrupt our plans.

Driving down the interstate, I heard an odd clicking sound. "Jacob," I asked, "Did you hear that?"
"Yeah, I don't think it's anything to be worried about."
At THAT moment, my car started losing speed. To the point that I was cruising off the interstate at 25mph.
"Hey Jacob. I think that clicking sound WAS something to worry about!" I teased.

We stopped at a gas station and Jacob excused himself to the restroom before we got to the car problems. "Jacob," I called him back, "there seems to be smoke coming from under the hood."
"Well go ahead and pop it."
As we peered over the engine, we saw fire!

I ran into the gas station screaming "MY CAR IS ON FIRE!!!!!"
The man brought me a fire extinguisher to which I replied, "PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT!!!" By this time the small flame had erupted into something that if on firewood surrounded by stones in the setting in which you would desire a bonfire, would be exciting, out of my engine, however, terrifying.

Jacob grabbed the extinguisher and put out the fire.
But it came back.
So Jacob put it out again.
It did not come back.
Jacob sprayed it again for good measure.

Apparently something had been wrong with the fuel line and the fuel was squirting out under the hood and igniting as it went.
But when we took it to the mechanics, he said that was the only damage and replaced our fuels line. $200 and 5 hours later we were back on the road. Lucky, huh?

Never before have I driven being afraid of my car. Afraid of the road, the rain, stupid people, yes, but never my own car.

After all the stress of the day, I didn't want to stop for the night but get back to Dallas and be home already!!

So we decided to stop at BestBuy to get a new stereo for my car (it had broken a few weeks back) so we could have some entertainment to keep us going.

Pulling off the interstate, we came to a stop getting ready to turn for best buy when flames started billowing out from under my hood.

We jumped out of the car. There was no gas station near by. Jacob ran to a nearby store hoping it would have an extinguisher. It didn't. They called 911.
Meanwhile I grabbed my purse and my wedding dress out of the car and got back.
When Jacob returned he sent me further back.
Sirens punctuated my hysterical sobs.
When the police arrived, I cried, "Why isn't he putting out the fire?"
When the fire fighters arrived, I repetitively sob, "I want it to go out. Make it go out."
After the fire fighters got the flames subdued and tried to get into the hood to saturate the inside, I stopped sobbing and said, "why are they attacking my hood with axes? Are they trying to get inside? I can go pop the hood if they don't know how..."

The firefighters said they were able to save most of our stuff, that we were lucky our stuff is fine and that we are fine.

I will never forget that fear of my car. Those flames. Sitting from afar, I could see lit gas dripping onto the asphalt and chunks of my car falling out as it's supports burned through. And I will also not forget a single one of those idiots who pulled up right beside my BILLOWING, FLAMING, EXPLODING car. Stay back until the light turns, people! Come on!

Sobbing (I did a lot of that), I asked Jacob what we were going to do. He said he didn't know yet. Then I remembered that I am the planner in this family! So I pulled myself together and said, "Officer, we're going to need a tow truck and car rental place."

A few hours later, after my very first police car ride, Jacob and I had reloaded our stuff into our rental (being frequently amazed and grateful at all the things not burned, like my guestbook tree, and the canvas painting my sister made for me) and were on the road again. We stopped for the night in Monroe, LA and arrived in Dallas without further incident noon on Thursday.

The Puterbaughs came over to help up unload our car and now I have a very full living room and no more road trips on the horizon. Thank God.

Bride Problems. Featuring: "What Kind of Bride Loses Her Wedding Dress!?"

I wish I blogged more.
But this wedding planning is NOT helping. I've been running around like the Energizer Bunny on Duracell! (I'm still going but it's getting a little sluggish)

It's getting to the point where I've become known to shout/beg, "I DON'T CARE DO WHATEVER STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS!" almost arbitrarily.
Like when it was time to decide what we would get the bridal party for dinner right before the wedding. The options on the table were Chic-fil-a, Subway, or an 8-foot sub. And I was supposed to decide on that information alone right then.

I DON'T CARE DO WHATEVER STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS!

Or even worse faux crises. Those things that you thought was THE END. But then it turned out all right. But my problem with these things is you tell people about them, the stress you had, the dilemmas, the horror, and they say, "Yeah but it all worked out right?" and give you this look like, "So why are you telling me about this thing that isn't a problem?"

"Uh- I- bu- wh- no- IT WAS A PROBLEM FOR ME! EMPATHIZE WITH ME!!"

Oh! And even worse! I LOST MY WEDDING DRESS!
Who does that!?!?!?!

6 months ago we had picked it up from the alteration shop, and thrown it in a black plastic bag until it would get pressed two weeks before the wedding.
Two weeks before the wedding, I went to gather my things to take them for the final fitting and pressing. And I asked my mom where my dress was. She gave me this blank look which you could tell she thought was funny. But it wasn't. When asking where my wedding dress is and your mother gives me a blank look that say "Oh no i have no idea where her dress is but if i say that she will kill me" with the undertone of a smile because, like I said, she thought she was being quite funny or cute or something, rage began to fill my chest. So I constricted my throat so my following words would not burst forth but come slowly, "where. is. it."

"Well, we would have probably put it in Andrea's closet."

So I stormed out of the room, irritated that she had antagonized me so, to Andrea's closet where no such black bag of wedding dress could be found.

Our hour long search began during which I tried very very hard to not lose my composure and break down crying. Because crying never helped anything. Except maybe getting out of a speeding ticket...

It ended with both of us sitting in the living room and my mother saying, "I just don't know where it is."

"But I don't have time to get a new one and get it altered."

"We'll have to go to the store and find something."

And then I lost it. "Someone threw away my wedding dress!" I choked out between my sobs.
I could picture the dump treasure hunter open the black plastic trash bag and pulling out my pristine white wedding dress. A bit of lovely amidst the trash heap.
The sobbing intensified. Probably to the point where we could call it crying.

But crying never solved anything.

So I pulled myself together and said, "it has to be in this house somewhere," banishing the image of the dump.
"I want closets to be COMPLETELY emptied!"
And the search began again. But slowly and without much in the way of hope.

And then a mysterious JC Penney bag surfaced.

Could it be?

It was! My lovely wedding dress!

So it all worked out in the end...

Stupid faux crisis.

an update

My time at Verve was great!
Three, i think, people are interested in coming on to support me as part of the 100 people at $20/month.

Jacob flew into Vegas Monday and flew out yesterday. Having "lost" his ipad on an Airtran flight, they gave him a free roundtrip ticket that gave him the opportunity to meet Verve and the pastor of All People's church, where I'm serving now and will be speaking at on Sunday. We also used this opportunity to do some sightseeing and (fun fact!) Jacob's favorite hotel on the strip is New York New York!

Yesterday, All People's church gave me a nice sized to-do list and I got a chance to join a short term missions team from Colorado as they did their thing at the University of Nevada Las Vegas. This morning, after making a dent on the to-do list, I'll head back over to All People's church and help out with their preparations for Easter Sunday!

As always, this PD trip has been and promises to continue to be VERY busy! And that's the way I like my PD trips!!

Please continue to pray for this trip.
Specifically, the meetings I have this week and my 5 minutes on stage at All People's. That people would partner with me in this work.

Day 4: Sitting on the Strip

I am in Las Vegas!
Staying with a friend from undergrad, we spent last night having a grand time catching up!

Yesterday, before I began my trip from Surprise, I stopped by the church office that I had worked at last year. And after discovering the person I was looking for wasn't there, I walked dejectedly back to my car to head off to Vegas. And that's when he pulled up! After chatting a bit in the middle of the street, he asked me to send him a direct deposit form so he could partner with me monthly!

Another supporter! This PD trip is going in the direction of a smashing success!
Thank you so much for your prayers and please continue them!

Tomorrow and Monday, I'll be at Verve where Vince will announce that I'll be speaking after services. Pray that people will come. It's not expected many will because they won't really care and they'll have things to do after service so won't want to stick around. But pray that people will come, through flukes, randomness, and coincidences, people will have time to stop by and here what God is doing.
While support is always nice and is the objective of this trip, most every time I tell people about what I do, it amazes them, it opens their eyes to a world that they didn't know about, work they didn't know about, circumstances that they didn't know about. I want to people to come so they can learn what God is doing in Papua New Guinea. Pray that they will come. And that they'll be inquisitive.

Day 3: About to Leave for Vegas

Presently, I am awake at 6:30am (the effects of being in a time zone just two hours over), sitting on Javin's bed. Brian Leach, a friend I made at my home church in Virginia Beach, opened up his couch to me. But when I arrived, Javin, his daughter, grabbed some blankets and made her way out to the couch. When people at age 12 demonstrate sacrificing their own comfort for the sake of someone else, that's a beautiful thing!

So staying in the midst of a beautiful family who gives shelter to the homeless and gives sacrificially, I've been having a great time.

Yesterday, after I concluded my stay at Starbucks, I headed over to the church I had served at in my visit here last year. It took me an hour to find this church I had worked at for TWO weeks! AN HOUR!

But conveniently, I arrived at the moment a couple of the women I had worked with before were walking out to lunch and was invited to join their party. Upon the end of our meal, I asked one if she would join me as one of our 100 who commit to $20/month. As her husband was absent, she couldn't immediately commit but assured me she would talk to him. She continued on to express how excited she was that something as important as fully-funding a missions team could have her hand in it for such a small commitment.

"Many hands make the burden light"

Your prayers please!
That people I have asked and people I will ask will be reminded to bring it up to their spouse throughout the distracting chaos of life and that they'll get back to me and let me know the response, even if it's "no".
And that the people I meet will give like Javin gives. "You just need a bed? I have a bed. You can have my bed."

Day 2: God is liberal with giving good things!

You know those people who you thought were just the coolest when you were younger and aspired to one day be them? Mine were the girls who sat outside of coffee shops with their coffee and their laptops and books and their cute outfits and worked on smart people stuff (now that I'm older I realize that most of them we probably college students studying) but here I am. Successful in my aspirations, sipping a coffee, reclining in the Arizona sun, looking outrageously cute, and keeping my supporters updated on my comings and goings via this blog. (This work we'll consider smart people work because smart people have occupations and this is mine. (Occupations extend to students and housewives, don't think I'm insulting you all! I am among your ranks!)

But back to keeping you informed.

I arrived in Surprise, AZ yesterday and had dinner with a couple who support me, who told me that they decided to double their monthly gift. I love this! Not just for the way that it benefits me, but for the way it benefits them! They've been supporting me for a year now and I have done pretty much nothing to make this such an amazing experience that they decided to double their giving, which means God must have been doing something. That God must have blessed them immensely with an understanding of how much better it is to give and with an understanding of how their gift will impact generations of those who, in time, will no longer be considered Bible-less. I think we've all heard about this kind of blessing, but it's so wonderful see if be such a blessing that the elicited response is "we have to do more!" So, if you are one of the amazing people who prays for me and this work, thank God for being so amazing that He blesses both the giver and the receiver, He is just so liberal with giving out good things!

So on the first day of my PD trip, before I even got sleep from my 17 hour drive, I increased my income (which is the objective of this trip, of course)! Hopefully each day continues to be as fruitful as the first! Hopefully we'll find people we need to meet our goal. See Jacob's post on our goal for 100 people giving $20/mth.

Your prayers are appreciated!

Getting Ready for Vegas

It's 4:00am and I'm trying to wear myself out in order to sleep all day tomorrow in order to be refreshed for my 17 hour drive to Surprise, AZ. I've occupied my time by cleaning house, from bathrooms and vacuuming to laundry and dishes so the house will be clean for Jacob who will be staying there while I'm gone. I've cooked a month's worth of food for Jacob to enjoy on my two week trip, providing plenty of variety and sustenance, so that when Jacob's not working, he can focus on relaxing.

In Surprise, I'll be staying with a friend and meeting up with a supporter, it sounds like a good rest stop on my way to Las Vegas.

In Vegas, I'll be speaking after service at Verve to those interested enough to stick around about my work with Pioneer Bible Translators and my upcoming trip to Papua New Guinea in September. My fiance, who's busy working, supplementing our income while we're not in training, will take a couple days off any take a free flight out to Vegas (the perks of getting your ipad stolen on a previous flight) in order to visit Verve and meet the pastor of All People's church and his family. All People's church is the church I came in contact with when Verve invited me out to Vegas for a couple weeks to serve them and has annually supported me since. I'll be speaking at this church on April 1st. After spending a couple days serving them as they get ready for Easter Sunday, I'll head back to Dallas to spend my first Easter with Jacob.

Please pray for safety on my trip, that the people I meet have their hearts prepared to see the importance of what I'm doing, that those who God has chosen to support me will hear God clearly and will give generously, gratefully, and be blessed in doing so, and that I will hear God clearly and speak what and to whom I am told.

The Apartment

Well, we finally have the apartment pretty much set up. At least, everything that is ours and was outside of the apartment is now inside the apartment and, on a good day, I can get everything spic and span (except this one closet which we affectionately call the Craft Closet, because Craft is a nicer word that Chaos.)
So two weeks in and the dust has settled!

When I first found out that my plans had changed and I needed an apartment, I thought stress had just taken flight. Roost might have been a better word.

I walked into the apartment office with this silly idea in my head that I could go in, have a look, sign the lease, and unload my car.
WRONG!

Background check, credit check, employment verification, "which will only take 3-4 days"
WRONG!

Then I got DENIED!
"for a criminal record."
I DO NOT HAVE A CRIMINAL RECORD!!!!

So I called the background check people who never have any representatives available and always take my name and number to call me back.
And they sent me my records.
Apparently, that one day, that I got a ticket for something silly and decided it wasn't worth my time to go to court, it was really just too ridiculous (a story for a another time) by paying I was actually pleading guilty to a MISDEMEANOR!
THEY NEVER TOLD ME THAT!

So I go BACK to the apartment building and tell them the whole story and they were like, "wow. that is ridiculous. I'll call my manager and give you a call back later today."
The NEXT day:
"Oh yeah, I meant to call you. He said you can move in."
"Great when!!!!???!?!?!??!"
"After the paperwork goes through SOMEBODY ELSE! One week."
Grrr.

THREE weeks later!
"Ok everything is good to go!"
"Great! When can we move in?"
"Oh, the manager doesn't want anyone moving in until the 15th."
ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!!!!

But one of those ladies was looking out for us and had us move in on the 9th.

Then moving in happened.
More stress.
But now it's done.
And I have time to do things like write a blog post.
Ahhh...

(As I look back on my original plan of coming back from PNG getting my apartment and putting it together in two weeks and then heading to VA to finish preparing for the wedding, I realized that plan was more than crazy intense, it was impossible. Thank God I do not have the stress of going to VA to prepare for my wedding knowing that I will not have a place to live after my wedding!!)

Below are pictures of the apartment 2 or 3 days after I moved in. I'll post pics of what it looks like now later.

Guest Bathroom. It's kinda ugly but I don't go in there much so...


My bathroom! All this pretty stuff I got for free at the Boutique! (which is a free thrift store for Wycliffe and PBT and GIAL students)


This is the guest bedroom where we put everything to make chaos isolated.


This is the master bedroom and that is my pallet on the floor.


And this is the living room WITH A FIREPLACE! SCORE!