I am a nomad. But

I am a nomad. But I don't think I was made to be.

I have been enjoying this PD trip a great deal. I've loved visiting new places and meeting new people and experiencing new things. But,

I'm going on three months of moving at least every two weeks. I'm a guest everywhere I go, which means if I've had a long day I can't just walk in the house and go to my room and turn on my stereo and be. No, I'm a guest and I have to be a good one. If my host wants to talk, I need to talk. If they want to go to dinner, if they want to watch tv, if they want to sit around a fire and sing Kumbayah, thats what I need to do. Which is fine. Great even! I love it! But all the time wears on me. Always being a guest is tiring. I want to go home, where I feel free to slam a door when I'm mad, stand in the shower as long as my heart desires, eat whatever in the kitchen strikes my fancy, where I have the freedom to not concern myself with what might offend the host but where I am the host.

I want to be in a place of my own. With my desk and my bed. A place where my clothes go into drawers instead of spilling out of my suitcases (making the guest room floor a difficult place to navigate). I want to have a place where I can keep my thoughts orderly.

I'm afraid that I have been moving so fast that it's hard to keep my thoughts straight. It's hard to keep up with everything! There are things I'm supposed to be doing that I'm just not because theres so much tangible chaos how can I think about the invisible chaos, the thank you letters I was supposed to write to the grantors of my undergrad scholarships, the transcripts I was supposed to send off, the thank you letters I was supposed to write to supporters and churches I've visited, the Paratext registration, the reimbursment request i was supposed to send in to for all my work expenses which is time sensitive but i need to do because my bank account balance is getting low.

I have been enjoying this PD trip a great deal. I've loved visiting new places and meeting new people and experiencing new things.

I am a nomad. But I don't think I was made to be.

I love visiting new places and meeting new people and experiencing new things. But I want to do that with nice long stays at a place all my own to spread out my adventures.

I am a nomad. But I want a home base.
Is that ok?