Signs, Comforts, and Sleeps

Background

Imagine a chihuahua, in a balloon that cannot move and cannot pop, trying to escape. Now, imagine that this balloon is inside your belly and every move the chihuahua makes you can feel. Welcome to the third trimester. 

This is what I started thinking about, lying in bed staring at the ceiling fan that coaxed a draft in the humid room. But my thoughts moved on, in a logical fashion, to getting this chihuahua out of my belly, and onward to where that would be. 

It occurred to me that in 6 weeks, I would be flying internationally. (I have to make that flight before 34 wks.) And I have no idea where I'm going. 

The plan is to deliver in Australia but I need a medical visa in order to do so. 

I emailed in my medical visa three weeks ago and got received no confirmation that it had been received. Anytime I tried to call them, I would find myself transferred to a line that would ring and ring and ring until the line went dead. 

If I don't get a medical visa, I could fly to the US to deliver but that's another 16 hr flight with James and another 16 hour flight with two babies shortly thereafter! Not my definition of fun. 

And then there's the timing. One way or another, I need to purchase plane tickets. There needs to be a plan!

God Answers Prayers

And so I prayed. 

I told God that I was worried. I know I shouldn't be worried because the Scripture commands us not to worry, but I was. And if the good Lord wanted me to not worry, He would need to help me. 

I told Him that I didn't need a sign that He was taking care of everything, because every instance of Him taking care of me before was a sign that He could and would take care of me now. 

But I needed a sign about whether or not I would be getting this visa. Not as a condition of anything, because I would do as I was told and led to do no matter if I got a sign or not. But as a comfort to me. To cast my worries aside. To let me sleep. 

I posted an update on Facebook and started mindlessly scrolling through my newsfeed. It was 6 AM CST, so there wasn't a lot new on the feed. 

I thought about how crazy some things for delivering in Australia were already working out. 

The first time I laid awake in bed wondering if it would be less expensive to fly to the US to deliver, I got a text message in that moment informing me that we had secured free lodgings for the 3 months we'd be there. A $3000 savings. 

There were only 4 OBs in Cairns and 3 decided not to take me on as a patient and I could never get a hold of the 4th and finally, finally! She said she would. 

We needed someone to come to Australia for the birth and for our day trip to Sydney (to pick up the emergency passport). Who would be able to afford it and could take a long enough time off work or school or whatever to be out there for that imprecise period of time? But Jacob's mom was already planning on coming out for a month! 

It seemed like far too many crazy things had already fallen into place for this to be the deal breaker.

And that's when I saw it. Something new amidst all the old posts I had been looking at all day long. A post from a missionary here with a sister organization. A shared memory from a year ago saying: We got our visa with 5 days to go. 

Ok. That seems like a sign. But should I go hand deliver it in Port Moresby? Or sit back and do nothing? Is this a wait on the Lord moment or the Lord will back your efforts moment? 

So I google plane tickets to Port Moresby and compared them to the expense of lodging a medical visa application in Australia (it's free if you do it while not in Australia). And at $550 to $380, it was clear that I shouldn't travel to Port Moresby. 

So that was it. A sign the visa was going to be taken care of. A sign that I shouldn't go to Port Moresby. And the rest wasn't for me to worry about. So I decided to buy plane tickets to Australia and let God organize what He would. 

But first I would ask the Director and friend and man who went through this with his wife just last year if he thought that was wise. In my mere quarter of a century of life, I've learned that it's prudent to not make decisions off of what you think are signs from God until you can talk to people who love you enough to tell you if you're being stupid. 

And then I went to sleep. My God, my comforter, helped me rid myself of worry and rest easy. (Not that He does this every time I ask for it. But this time I did ask with more serenity that I normally find myself with. This time it wasn't "I am stressed and I need to know that you've got this" but more "worry=lame sauce, remind me of how good You are." And I think that was an more appropriate way to seek a sign. NOT that there is a magical formula for receiving signs from God. This is NOT a prescriptive way God can be manipulated. That's called paganism. God doesn't work like that. So I'm NOT saying that if you pray this way things will happen for you the same as it did for me. ALL I'm saying is I prayed and the Lord answered hallelujah amen. Ok moving on)

Epilogue 

So Monday! (That was Saturday night.) Monday! I spoke with the Director and I felt like I got a bit of hesitancy. So I waited. 

We found the phone number for a for-profit company that the Immigration's Office outsources to and they, money-hungry as for-profit companies are, answered their phones, because, you know, customers=money. 

I then went to the OB, who asked me when I was going to leave the country and balked at the date I gave him, wanting me to leave earlier. Good thing I didn't buy those plane tickets, huh!? 

So Tuesday! my visa application was sent, by courier ($12), to Port Moresby. I anticipate a confirmation email of its arrival tomorrow morning (or tomorrow evening for you all on the Western Hemisphere) and they should process it in 4 weeks, for a small fee ($25). (This story hasn't ended yet. Keep up to date on the Visa Fiasco here.) 

Thursday! After many failed attempts and sleeps and crashed internets and false fraud alerts on credit cards, WE HAVE OUT PLANE TICKETS TO AUSTRALIA!!!!! ($599.96)