Bride Problems. Featuring: "What Kind of Bride Loses Her Wedding Dress!?"

I wish I blogged more.
But this wedding planning is NOT helping. I've been running around like the Energizer Bunny on Duracell! (I'm still going but it's getting a little sluggish)

It's getting to the point where I've become known to shout/beg, "I DON'T CARE DO WHATEVER STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS!" almost arbitrarily.
Like when it was time to decide what we would get the bridal party for dinner right before the wedding. The options on the table were Chic-fil-a, Subway, or an 8-foot sub. And I was supposed to decide on that information alone right then.

I DON'T CARE DO WHATEVER STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS!

Or even worse faux crises. Those things that you thought was THE END. But then it turned out all right. But my problem with these things is you tell people about them, the stress you had, the dilemmas, the horror, and they say, "Yeah but it all worked out right?" and give you this look like, "So why are you telling me about this thing that isn't a problem?"

"Uh- I- bu- wh- no- IT WAS A PROBLEM FOR ME! EMPATHIZE WITH ME!!"

Oh! And even worse! I LOST MY WEDDING DRESS!
Who does that!?!?!?!

6 months ago we had picked it up from the alteration shop, and thrown it in a black plastic bag until it would get pressed two weeks before the wedding.
Two weeks before the wedding, I went to gather my things to take them for the final fitting and pressing. And I asked my mom where my dress was. She gave me this blank look which you could tell she thought was funny. But it wasn't. When asking where my wedding dress is and your mother gives me a blank look that say "Oh no i have no idea where her dress is but if i say that she will kill me" with the undertone of a smile because, like I said, she thought she was being quite funny or cute or something, rage began to fill my chest. So I constricted my throat so my following words would not burst forth but come slowly, "where. is. it."

"Well, we would have probably put it in Andrea's closet."

So I stormed out of the room, irritated that she had antagonized me so, to Andrea's closet where no such black bag of wedding dress could be found.

Our hour long search began during which I tried very very hard to not lose my composure and break down crying. Because crying never helped anything. Except maybe getting out of a speeding ticket...

It ended with both of us sitting in the living room and my mother saying, "I just don't know where it is."

"But I don't have time to get a new one and get it altered."

"We'll have to go to the store and find something."

And then I lost it. "Someone threw away my wedding dress!" I choked out between my sobs.
I could picture the dump treasure hunter open the black plastic trash bag and pulling out my pristine white wedding dress. A bit of lovely amidst the trash heap.
The sobbing intensified. Probably to the point where we could call it crying.

But crying never solved anything.

So I pulled myself together and said, "it has to be in this house somewhere," banishing the image of the dump.
"I want closets to be COMPLETELY emptied!"
And the search began again. But slowly and without much in the way of hope.

And then a mysterious JC Penney bag surfaced.

Could it be?

It was! My lovely wedding dress!

So it all worked out in the end...

Stupid faux crisis.