Internal Dialogue

9:00 am, a cup of Blue Mountain Coffee from PNG, and the day such a lovely temperature that every door in the house is flung wide open.
A delightfully calm and peaceful morning.
And here I am, unable to enjoy it, because someone seasoned my coffee with broken worry.


"Don't worry, the Bible says, rest your cares on the Lord," my Superego says to my Id.
"Listen, I didn't just pick up Worry because I thought she was pretty! She's growing on my like a fungus! I can't get rid of her!"
"You can do all things through Christ Jesus," Superego recites dutifully.
"I wish I could get someone to call me back about this PD trip! Even if they told me no, someone extending the courtesy of returning my calls would be so ...nice," Id laments.
"I wish I didn't have to raise money for this. I just had money. Or I was paid like a normal employee. Or anything!" Id continues.
"That's rather selfish. You get to go work to fulfill the Mission of God and you don't want to let others have their chance to contribute to the Mission? Not nice."
"They don't want to contribute to the mission!"
"Yes they do. They just don't know that they do. You have to tell them."
"And how can I tell them if they wont take my calls!"
Sensing that Id's emotional levels had risen to the brink of dangerous, Ego stepped forth.
"I'm going to go try to make some more phone calls. If at first you don't succeed!"
Ego picks up the phone.
"$10 that everyone she talks to blows her off."
"Gambling is a very irresponsible way to handle money," Superego sniffs disdainfully.


Needless to say, I'm a little stressed out. My heart longs to see Papua New Guinea again, and I have an opportunity in February, but I fear I won't have the funds to do it. The past ... many years of my life have been focused on this goal of going to PNG. And now that I've been to PNG, seen the love and hospitality of the people, seen the desperate desire for the Word of God in their own language, seen their proactive efforts that can, alas, only get them so far without a Translator, it makes not being there so much harder.

So, if you would, pray that sugar seasons my coffee instead, that people get back to me about this PD trip, and that God communicates to me somehow what He wants me to do, and that I can learn to hear.