Baby in Me: At work

The day before, I had been sent home because my standing around doing nothing pulse wouldn't drop below 100 bpm for over an hour, so today I was apprehensive about getting back on the floor but decided to throw myself in.
I stand in pre-shift only because the available chairs are too deep in the tiny room overflowing with people to secure. Just standing, with my glass of water. I normally chase the calories in Sierra Mist, but I heard dehydration may have caused my heart rate yesterday. Just standing, like a normal person, holding a cup of water, like a normal person, when it fell from my grasp and shattered on the floor. Everyone looked from the mess on the floor to me. "I'm pregnant!" (Man, it's good that's not under-wraps anymore.) And the room reanimated, people laughing at my pronouncement, people rushing to get brooms, people nudging pieces of glass to a localized location. And we proceeded with my husband's mantra: sweep it up and throw it away.

Throughout the 8 hours I was on the clock, the new pregnancy klutziness did not abate. I uprighted at least three trays, most of which were caught with no damages, but one. That one involved me dumping 7 cups of water on myself and breaking a glass into the ice. That's right. Broken glass in the ice is always a bad day.

Finally this awesome day (I left with $175. It was a pretty good day!) ended. I had finished doing the condiments for Jacob and my sections while he swept. (Bending forces the belt I have to wear because my pants don't close anymore painfully into my son.) My manager  came over to check our sections. That's when I saw it. "Oh, no! Someone stole my cracker caddy!" I said staring at the poorly filled cracker caddy left on my table, "I'm going to cry," I jested in exaggeration. That's when my hormones betrayed me. My face turns red, my eyes fill with tears. "No! no! Do not cry! This is not worth crying over!" My manager is looking at me in horror and reaches out to comfort me. "No! Do not touch! It will make it worse!"
"Are you seriously-"
"I'm pregnant! I have hormones! They are acting up! I am fine!"
From beside us, Jacob speaks up, "She's fine. Can you finish checking my section?"
Our manager looks in horror from his cavalier face to my face contorted in a battle dominance: brain vs hormones.
It took a bit more effort to convince him and get on with checking our sections, but I think in the long run it was all worth it. From now on, whenever our good friend gives me a hard time, I can warn him, "Don't make me cry! You know I will!"

It was a good day.

Baby Registry Day in the Magical Land of Babies

Let's think back to wedding registry day(s).
Back when love was new, when you wandered into the stores of your choosing to pick out the items you'd like to begin your life of togetherness with. And then it began.
Everyone I've talked to about wedding registry day acquires a shadow over their face as the memories resurface.
And we all know what the worst wedding registry store of them all is.
Bed, Bath, and Beyond.
Some have called it the Day of the Fight. Others, the Day of the Tears. But (almost) all us married folks know that day of being blindsided by the horror of horrors that is wedding registry day.
And the reason it's so bad, you single people or profoundly lucky married ones ask?
For the first time, nitty gritty details of day to day life are being hacked out in a store over the course of hours (which you don't realize until you walk out and look at the time).
"Why do we need that?! I don't even know what that is!"
"Seriously? It's a steamer!"
"It looks like a deformed colander. Which! By the way! We do in fact need!"
"Why spend money on a colander?! Just hold the pasta back with a spoon!"
"You're supposed to rinse the pasta!"
"WHY WOULD YOU RINSE PASTA?!"

Baby registry day... On baby registry day you walk in with gloom of wedding registry day over you, but with adorable little baby things drawing you in. You sit down at Babies R Us Registry Desk for the same reason you sat at Bed Bath and Beyond, because that's where you go. But instead of jamming a book of overpriced dinner plates in your face, they give you a bottle of water. And a gift bag. And then you're confused. This seems... nice. They give you a list of things you need. Which is such a relief because if this is your first you have no idea what babies need. And then you go through the aisles and check off the list, scanning items all the while. When you get to scary places like the diaper rash aisle, you stop random mothers and ask what Butt Paste they use, and suddenly you use that too! And off you go down another aisle of adorable baby things. There's nothing to fight about in the magical land of babies.

You can have no difference of opinions if you don't have any opinions to start with. You just do what you're told by the list and random moms as you sip your water. At some point in the store, your shadow completely dissipates and the sun shines down on you and the joyous experience of Baby Registry Day. Three hours later, you skip out to your car, and turn back to smile fondly at the Babies R Us storefront.
Skipping to the car after spending three hours in a store?
Previous to Baby Registry Day, I would have scoffed, but forever more, my face will brighten upon the memory of: Baby Registry Day.