So the PNG economy
was maybe going to collapse last year and the finance department said they were
going to put a hold on bringing funds over for a while. They suggested that
individuals in the branch could put a hold on their own funds for a while (so it
didn't get put into the branch's pot, which was chillin Stateside until the
crisis passed) if they wanted to hold out longer than the finance department
did. I, however, trusted the finance department would be wise, so just let my
money go into their pot until they deemed it appropriate to bring it over.
However, since
everyone was getting deeper and deeper into the red, no one was raising red
flags. Which is how we just recently came to find out that we were in the red.
As it turns out, our deficit is equal to the cost of the helicopters and house
we just built. Which is good… If it was more than that, we would need to take a
super serious look at our spending habits, which would be hard because we live
pretty frugally. It's major expenses that's keeping us from the black.
Unfortunately, those major expenses can't be avoided if we intend to do our
job…
So that's kinda
stressful…
When we came here
less than 100% funded, it was hard, but also amazing… It was like, God opened
the door for it to happen and so He was going to be taking care of us and we
just had to trust Him. Marissa… According to the calendar, it shouldn't even be
possible that she exists. So many improbably crazy things came together at just
the right moment and while it wasn't in the budget to live in Australia for
three months to have her, it just seemed like the Lord's business to sort that
out. I mean, there's no way everything would have happened just so if it hadn't
been His design. There's no way she would have come to exist when she did. She is from the Lord and He would make the way for her. Even when our free housing fell through 2 days before
departure, I knew that the Lord would sort it out. That afternoon, the free
housing fell back in. It's so liberating to just leave everything to Him.
However, I do not
consider myself to have taken hold of it. As evident in my response to our
current standing with the Branch. I was not … as full of grace as one might
hope.
So I was…
tumultuous. We're going with "tumultuous". In my head, I knew I
needed to not worry and be chill and let the Lord sort things out, but in my
belly, there was fear, and panic, and worry. So let's heap on financial stress:
mental/emotional battle warring for dominance. "I do that which I do not
want to do, but that which I want to do, I do not do." That applies to
thoughts, too. Fury at the ineptitude inherent in my human nature. Yeah, let's
add that, too. Why not?
So I did what you
do. I piled on the praying and Scripture reading and fasting. (I hate fasting.
I avoid it at all costs. There is nothing remotely worshipful about me hangry.)
And I read:
6 When I was prosperous, I said,
“Nothing can stop me now!”
7 Your favor, O LORD, made me as
secure as a mountain.
Then you turned away from me, and I was
shattered.
Psalms 30
Um… Yes! Remember
that one time, like last week, when I was all busy going on about how
magnificently You provide and how we just need to trust in You and it's totally
going be awesome. And there I was, totally trusting and praising and glorifying
and so on and so forth. And then, what? You're just like nah… nevermind…
11 Do not strike them dead suddenly,
because then my people might forget the
lesson.
Use your power to make them homeless
vagabonds and then bring them down,
O Lord who shields us!
Psalms 59
No! I want you to strike financial stress suddenly!
I mean, I see… I get it… You look way more awesome every time You save the day…
But wouldn't it look more awesome if You were just like, 'BAM! Open the
floodgates!' No? no… ok…
10 For you, O God, tested us;
you purified us like refined silver.
11 You led us into a trap;
you caused us to suffer.
12 You allowed men to ride over our
heads;
we passed through fire and water,
but you brought us out into a wide open
place.
Psalms 66
I really really hate
this. I mean, I get it. Because CLEARLY I had not been totally purified the
LAST time You did this. But still, I really really hate this.
24 The LORD directs our steps,
so why try to understand everything along
the way?
Proverbs 20
9 “But watch
out! Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen. Do not let these
memories escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on
to your children and grandchildren.
Deut 4
What have I seen? I
remember the last time we didn't have money to move our feet. We were on a PD
trip that seemed to be getting us nowhere and we didn't have the funds to
continue. There was the obvious next step but no money… And no obvious next step. But we took the next step anyway.
And we received a unexpected gift of $10,000. The Lord provides.
23 “What do you
mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.”
24 The father
instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”
Mark 9
24 I tell you,
you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will
be yours.
Mark 11
16 Come and listen, all you who fear
God,
and I will tell you what he did for me.
17 For I cried out to him for help,
praising him as I spoke.
18 If I had not confessed the sin in
my heart,
the Lord would not have listened.
19 But God did listen!
He paid attention to my prayer.
20 Praise God, who did not ignore my
prayer
or withdraw his unfailing love from me.
Psalms 66
It was in the 24 hr
of my 24 hr fast that peace settled over me. I didn't really learn anything
new, did I? But I was reminded. I had asked the Lord for peace and He gave it
to me. I had asked the Lord for funds and He's given $250 through His children
and I'm assuming He's got a plan for the rest. The how is not my business.
It's my business to
take the next step.
And that step is to
get on a $1500 helicopter even if I don't know how I'm going to pay for it.
update: $1450 has been provided by the Lord thru His children
Now, while I write
this to encourage (in a crazy twisted, look at my agony, doesn't this make you
feel better? sort of way…) and I certainly hope you are encouraged (we came out
to a side of peace, right?), there's also another bit of this.
See, God can work in
miracles. But it's not really His style to drop a huge pile of money into a
bank account with no source. Even that $10,000 had a source. He uses His
children to give $10,000 and two coins and every figure in between.
God has a plan to
get us back in the black and fully funded and I think it involves you.
You, who are reading
this right now, maybe because you always read my blogs, maybe because on a whim
you decided to give it a click and see what it said, maybe because someone
shared it and it ended up on your newsfeed, but you're here. You're reading this.
And you can help us reach our goals. Maybe you can't throw down $1500, but you
can throw into pot. And that money will be used to get us out to the village to
work fervently to get Matthew to the Mum.
Will you join this
work?
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