Coffee with Elizabeth - Mincemeat

I collapse into one of the comfy chairs, clutching my Triple Grande Peppermint White Mocha like a life line.

I take a long sip, through my head back with my eyes closed and stop. For just a moment. I loll my head over to look at you and I give you a sleepy grin.

"I've had a long day. A long week! A long life…"

You snort at my 26 years.

I shrug.

"Feels that way." I take another sip.

"How long do you think you can run on caffeine and pain killers?" I ask my cup.

"I take a lot more caffeine than pain killers… But the headaches, man…"

"10 to 8 hours a night I'm in bed."

You raise an eyebrow.

"Listen, it's not as easy for me to sleep! Jacob hits a pillow and he's like a dead man! Me? I start thinking about what I have to do." I take a sip of coffee.

Then swallow abruptly and burst out laughing.

"Hahaha! Oh man, today! So, we got our dehydrator from the airport, right? (The roads were so rough back there, I ended up off-roading, a hit a huge rock so hard, I thought both of my driver's side tires blew out! Then hit ANOTHER rock. Then bottomed out. My adrenaline was soaring! Caffeine, pain killers, and adrenaline! That'll get the job done!) Anyway, the dehydrator. I knew it was coming so bought like 5 kilos of mince. Uh… … hamburger? … 97% … ground beef! That's what you call it! Geez! I'm forgetting how to speak American! Anyway, I had cooked 3 last night. Oh, 3 kilos is just over 6 lbs… You're supposed to multiply your kilos by 2.2 to get pounds, but I just double it and call it close enough. Ok, so kilos are BIG. So you double it to get pounds, ok? Keep with me now. So I had Jacob cook the other 2k while I started loading the dehydrator. And we didn't have enough! THIS THING IS HUGE! Industrial. If this thing is going to be how I prepare food for more than half my year for at least two years? Totally worth the expense! And it's so efficient! So I did some number crunching, like I do, and was like, man we can get this done in 2.5 days! So I go back to the butcher (oh, somewhere in that story, I went back and picked up 5 more kilos for tomorrows dehydrating before I realized the awesomeness of my dehydrator.) So I went back to the butcher and was like, yeah, Imma need 20 kilos of meat. That's like 40lbs, right. Don't worry, I get the "crazy white lady" look a lot.

Anyway, that was all back story, so I come home"

I start chuckling.

"buckling under the weight of this 20 kilo box of raw meat as I carried it up the stairs. And I walk inside"

Giggling now.

"And Jacob comes over to take the box. And he's all, 'what is this?' And I give him that guilty smile, you know?"

I flash you an example.

"And he goes, 'Elizabeth. Is this meat?' I nod, my smile growing. 'How much meat did you buy?'"

It's hard to talk through my laughter.

"'20 kilos!'

"'20… Where are we going to put all of it!' And he is just done, like he has this grin and this chuckle and this grimace, and it's like he loves me but I'm insane and this is his life now. With 20 kilos of raw meat sitting on his counter!"

We take a minute to roar in laughter.

"And then!" I gasp for air.

"Then he says, 'You know. It's December first. December first. And I just thought, that since we weren't going to the village again until February, at the earliest, that maybe just maybe we wouldn't have to cook all 20 kilos right now.' And I'm just dying laughing, right there through his whole speech, doubled over, clutching a stich in my side, laughing. And then, after I compose myself, I say, 'I hear you, babe. I do. But when you fall asleep at night with your creepy instantaneous sleeping powers, I lie awake at night thinking about everything on my to-do list.'
"'YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE THINGS ON YOUR TO DO LIST!' he exclaims, laughing at my compulsive busyness.

"'NOT LIKE THIS!' I retort. 'I'm BACKLOGGED!'

"So my husband. My valiant husband, sighs, puts on some gaming headphones, turns a movie on the kindle and has been browning beef ALL DAY."

We laugh some more.

"Agh! I haven't even told you about the helicopter! No. no. That's another conversation. I promised my husband I would take over the meat and cook the last 5 kilos. (5 kilos will be left for tomorrow's to-do list)."

I down the last of my coffee, but the dregs.

I leave the dregs.

I hate the dregs.

"But thank you for this. I've been running around like crazy today and it was really nice to sit down and (get my fix and) story- oh… chat! with you. Same time tomorrow?

"I'll tell you about the helicopter! Oh what a story!"