You get what you pay for (an unedited stream of thought)

I haven't posted in forever and  for that I feel terrible.
Life has been super busy recently. I started working a restaurant (which will remain nameless as I'm not allowed to talk about my company in social media), with Jacob. I hate working there. Hate. Hate. Hate. The company is great but the clients make you question the common decency in humanity and as a result, I get so frustrated that I begin acting like a very ugly person. I've recently reduced my hours to two days a week, because my marriage is more important than all the money I make. And do I make money there!
But I work constantly, at the restaurant and at professional blogging to make enough money to go to grad school. It's looking like more than $7000 next semester, just for tuition. And they don't accept financial aid.
I'm in school right now. It's really stressful. I got a 67% on my last homework. Apparently, I did really well, or so my Teacher's Assistant (TA) told me. But no matter how well I did compared to the rest of the class, any grade less than a 90% has me stressed out. He says I don't need to worry about passing the class, but I don't know if that's a nice thing to say or if it's an insight, a promise. That happens sometimes. It happened last session. Through miscommunication, I did less than my preferred 90% on an important assignment, but the prof said she knew I deserved a good grade, so no matter how the numbers crunched in the end, I would get one. And her word was good.
So, I'm working a job I hate to pay for schooling that stresses me out immeasurably. And at the end of the day I'm just tired. So tired.
Consequently, I haven't been doing well in partnership development, either keeping my partners informed (as I haven't posted in months) (although my husband helped put together a newsletter last month) or finding new partners. This is unacceptable. I hope to either quit or change positions at my job, trusting the Lord to provide despite my level of income. (He's been amazing so far this year. Really, based on my number crunching we shouldn't be able to afford to eat. And yet somehow, even without getting any more in debt, we manage to cover all of our expenses.)
And so, I'm working a job I hate to pay for schooling that stresses me out immeasurably and failing at PD. And at the end of the day I'm just tired. So tired.

BUT
This is not for naught. In December, when I graduate, I will leave behind the world of academics and in June 2014, my husband and I will travel the country looking for the ones God has chosen to be a part of this.
And then my husband and I, with our partners behind us, will board a plane and go off to Papua New Guinea. We will live in a house made of bush materials and make friends with the nationals and we will sit down with them in the dirt and learn together how we can make God's Word real to them, how we can put it in their heart language so that they can hear the Words of God resonate in their hearts, so they can find freedom from the sanguma men that haunt their dreams, so they can have transformed lives and live lives of joy, rejoicing in the Lord with the rest of Christendom. And as we witness life change, as we hand out Bibles that the people can read and will cherish, we will find that this miserable job that I hate hate hate and this stressful schooling was insignificant in the light of eternity, a eternity that we will share with our Papuan brothers and sisters in Christ, worshiping before the throne, every tribe and language and people and nation.
And for this we perserver.

I implore you for understanding, empathy, and prayer.
The life we have chosen is hard, so hard. But you get what you pay for. And while the price is great now, this job pays! Truly, truly, in the end I know it will all be worth it.
But please, please pray that we endure, that we perserver, and that joy abides in our souls throughout the hard times.